Under the knife I go

Almost done with this medical malady thing that's been driving me slightly batty for the better part of a month because tomorrow is...surgery day!  That's right, time to get this bad boy cut out and sent off to the lab to make sure there's nothing scary lurking in there.  I can't tell you how ready I am.  Ok, not overly excited about the whole surgery part, but just ready to be done dealing with it.  Although I'll still have to deal with it...post-op stuff and all...but one step closer, right?

That being said, I'm not exactly going to be celebrating Cinco de Mayo with the traditional adult beverages, but I'm hoping there might be a way to track down an orange Jarritos - those things are dang tasty.  I think it's probably in my body's best interest if my blood can actually clot tomorrow, so I'm skipping the margaritas and/or Mexican beer tonight.  That, along with the fact that I can't eat or drink anything after midnight, will also help me avoid any late night shenanigans.  Although since I need to be at the hospital at 6 AM and I have quite the track record for not really embracing the morning hours, it might just be easier to stay up all night.

For those of you who are into that whole schedule sort of thing and might want to be thinking positive thoughts for me (hint, hint), here's how the day's (theoretically) going down:

• 0515 hours - drag self out of bed, remember not to drink coffee, stumble through shower, remember to wear glasses, hug Harrison, remember not to wear makeup, valiantly keep eyes open
• 0545 hours - crawl into cab and mumble "23rd and I" while not falling asleep in said cab
• 0559 hours - arrive at hospital admissions one minute ahead of schedule (aren't I optimistic?)
• 0600 hours - get all checked in, sign various forms and fork over hefty deductible, change into what I'm sure is to be a lovely hospital gown complete with matching robe and slippers, get minorly freaked out about what is happening, listen to calming voice of anesthesiologist who (along with miracle drugs) will make me forget what I'm here for, receive reassurance from fine doctor
• 0730 hours - let's get this show on the road!  various things with scalpels and other instruments that I'd rather not know about
• 0830 hours - should be done with scalpels and other instruments that I'd rather not know about...to the recovery room we go!
• 0915 hours - amuse fellow recovery room occupants with my loopy rambling
• 1000 hours - my angel Dana arrives to check out my loopiness and make sure we actually understand the nurse's instructions
• 1030 hours - time to bust out of this joint
• 1045 hours - home sweet home and immediately to bed, hopefully with a content kitty curled up next to me while Angel Dana works away in the living room

For this privilege, I will be wiping out my HSA and using a chunk of my tax refund to meet my deductible on this lovely high deductible plan (which really is lovely until you actually need something like surgery, and then it's blown all to hell), but at least another chunk of my tax refund is being used to fund an amazing almost-two-week adventure in Spain with my very dear friend Darcy in September.  Keep earning interest, tax refund, keep earning interest!  Have to have something to look forward to, right?  At least I'll get credit card points for the massive payment I'm making tomorrow.

And for those you keeping score...my parents were in town last Wednesday through Monday, and we had a lovely time, which I'll tell you alllll about in the next few days.  Hopefully not while loopy from anesthesia or other miracle drugs.