Monday, July 20, 2009

Flying the friendly skies

Having spent a decent amount of time in airports and on planes over the last few weeks, I have some observations/rants/diatribes on the whole flight experience:

  • For the love of all that is holy, PLEASE do not lean your seat back, therefore seriously impeding my ability to do anything with my laptop and/or knees, unless you actually plan on sleeping. If you promptly lean your seat back and then spend the duration of the flight hunched over your tray not even sitting back in your seat…blerg. I believe that reclined seats are acceptable only on international flights.
  • I realize personal space is somewhat limited in those main cabin seats, but let's go ahead and observe some basic rules of personal space bubbles. The armrest is actually a fairly good indicator of where your body mass and appendages should stop - the idea is to stay in your own seat. If you feel the need to poke your elbow 1/3 of the way into my seat, I would like you to just go ahead and pay for 1/3 of the seat. Or at least trim your arm hair.
  • How could you NOT know about the liquids, people? If you haven't flown in the last eight years or so, I might forgive you, but for the rest of you, get with the program.
  • Please do not attempt to carry on five bags. You get two. And they don't care if you got a great bargain on some comforter and couldn't squeeze it into your suitcase. Who buys a comforter when you're away for business or pleasure? It really must have been a great bargain.
  • I have no problem with you bringing a small meal onto a flight that includes what might traditionally be considered a mealtime. You might even be able to get away with a smelly meal as long as you eat it quickly and hand off your garbage. Don't let a smelly lunch sit out with you for eighty-three minutes before you decide to consume it. That's just nasty. We don't want to smell those smells any longer than absolutely necessary.

Ahh, that feels better. Better to let it all out on the blog than end up in a mid-air altercation with one of my seatmates.


Carrie said...

I SO want you to write your own travel book. It would be kind of like Bill Bryson but with great food descriptions!

Erin said...

I think I'll start the draft tonight! Hmmm, time to find my agent...I did really enjoy "Notes From a Small Island."

Can't wait to see you, Carrie! Four days!!

Diana said...

OMG I cracked up reading this post. And Amen to your rants!!! Smelly food...gross.