And a very merry Christmas to all...

...and to all an incredibly short Christmas summary in the form of very few phone pictures. We're pretty tired around here. But for all of the best reasons. Except for a lingering cough for our poor sick baby; that is not one of the best reasons. Sigh. Almost there. I'm extremely grateful for all of my helpers over the last week and really miss them. Love you, family.

Presents are pretty cool, Dad

We bought chocolate chips with the intent to bake goodies...but so far they've only served as a toy for the baby.

Story time with Auntie Manda!! Please also observe the proximity of the cat to this situation and chalk it up to a Christmas miracle.

Christmas is exhausting, y'all. Also, I'm totally about to outgrow my space egg swing. Yeeps.

Go away, germs...and bobcat

Poor baby Holden has a double ear infection (both ears!!) AND the flu. So basically that's where the last few days have gone. And having a sick baby is just one of the worst things ever. The end.

In completely unrelated news, there's apparently a tiny little bobcat who thinks our patio furniture is basically where it's at. Whaaaat?!?

So I called animal control, who promptly came (arrived 15 minutes later, so impressed!) and scared him away...and HE. CAME. BACK. And snuggled up in the cushions again. After Bob* dashed off again, Craig rearranged the cushions to make it a little less inviting. And hopefully that's all it takes?? Because I don't really want to have to figure out how to keep a little bobcat away - we have enough going on INSIDE the house.

* obviously the bobcat's name is Bob. duh.

Dads are good for naps

It's hard work being a baby, y'all.

Dad, Dad, what did you bring me??

So Craig isn't traveling for work nearly the way he used to (thank goodness!!), but he's spent two of the last four weeks in Florida - which means single parenting on this end, yeeps! Fortunately Holden's a pretty cool kid and tries to keep things pretty easy breeze for his mom...except for this congestion/crud that I think is basically going to take over our lives FOREVER and keeps him (and in turn me) from having a good night's sleep...but we survive. We're both glad when Dad gets home, but I think he may have set a new precedent on this last trip that Holden will come to expect..."Dad, Dad, what did you bring me??"

Holden + new Mickey Mouse doll (thanks, Dad!) = grins and giggles

Thankful

Come Thanksgiving you used to find me taking pictures of pies. Now I pretty much just take pictures of my baby (it can't be helped, his adorableness attracts the camera!), so I really don't have any Thanksgiving shots to share with you that don't feature Holden in some form or fashion. Oh, but rest assured there were pies. This time only three for the six (and a half) of us, an extremely reasonable ratio.

As we scarfed down turkey and cornbread dressing and allll the other good stuff last Thursday, I paused for a moment and felt especially thankful for my amazing parents this year. I'm also really thankful for pie, but having a baby is kinda a big deal...and while coconut cream pie would have helped, I don't really know if I would have survived those first couple of weeks without my mom and dad by my side. Maybe more details on the survival of the early days will be provided a little later, and maybe not - I got a little teary just thinking about it now, so apparently six months later the waves of exhaustion and newborn terror are still palpable. So for now I'll continue to pause briefly and say thank to my parents. For everything. Absolutely everything.

Holden enjoying some naptime with Grandpa over Thanksgiving weekend...

...and doing the same thing six months ago when he was almost a week old.

Can you believe how much he's grown and changed?!? Me either.

How?

How have the last twelve weeks just flown by? In the beginning, it didn't feel like time was flying - it felt like I was stuck in an endless eternity of sleep-deprived madness. But then we kinda got the hang of things and starting having FUN together...and now my sweet boy is hanging out in daycare and I go back to work tomorrow. During busy season. Which is its own kind of endless eternity.

I wish I'd written more. I have a million phone pictures, and I've jotted half blog posts here and there, and there's a rambling Word doc that kinda captures things...but I know there are little moments that have already passed that I may not hold on to.

I miss spending time with him already.

Hey baby!

One month ago, this tiny little person came into our lives and changed things forever.  Infinitely for the better.  Those first few weeks were anything but easy, but worth every minute when I remind myself what an important job this is - raising, caring, loving this little man.  Welcome to the world, Holden Michael Pendarvis.  Born May 29, 2014 - 7 pounds, 1 ounce, and 21 inches of perfect.

And I'm really not sure how we went from that little guy up there to this one down here who is already ONE MONTH OLD!  It's a bit of a blurry haze, really.

I'll try to capture some parenthood adventures here on the blog...but my boss is a little demanding these days and I tend to run a little short on time.  Priorities!

Sooooo pregnant

You know what's exhausting when you're 39 weeks pregnant?  EVERYTHING.

I'm rocking wet hair and flip-flops in this one...BECAUSE I'M 39 WEEKS and tired, y'all.

Here's what's up lately...I've been hyper-aware of Holden's movements since his heartbeat was a touch slow last week...but at my doctor's appointment last Wednesday he was jumping around like a crazy bean and had a right-on-target heartbeat of 122.  And he's doing a really good job of kicking and punching in there, so I'm not worried about it - except when I get focused at work, pause, can't remember the last time I felt him do anything, and then frantically poke at him to make sure he's moving around. "Knock it off, Mom!"

As of last Wednesday, there's a whole lotta nothing going on down there right now.  So we'll see how the next week goes, but have already scheduled a date for induction since I'm not really interested in being pregnant FOREVER (which is how it feels right now).  A scheduled birth!! Yes, that appeals to the accountant in me, but I'd rather my body and Holden just come to terms with each other and do this thing. We'll see what happens. And my doctor reminds me that this could all change at any time. Yeeps.

Anxiously awaiting his arrival around these parts!!  And distracting myself by doing things like sewing curtains for bedroom (which Harrison may or may not approve of)...

...and snuggling with the fur children, who have absolutely no idea how much their worlds are about to be rocked even though we keep telling them a baby brother is coming...

...and approving betting pools at work on the birth of our child, which I don't think Craig was a huge fan of, but someone should at least have fun with this waiting game...

...and playing in the dirt by replacing last year's sad dead herbs with adorable new ones, plus a citronella plant that will theoretically keep mosquitoes away.

I also cleaned out the fridge and freezer - like, CLEANED.  I suspect I'm over-nesting.  But I have to do SOMETHING.  And yes, every activity is followed by a break on the couch because I'm just tired.  More tiredness to come in the near future, though, so I might as well get used to it.  See you soon, Holden!  We just don't quite know when!

Two-ish weeks to go...or possibly two days, who knows??

I feel kinda ginormous these days.  Although apparently not everyone thinks so, since the same people who told me I was "finally looking pregnant" are now exclaiming "oh, there's NO WAY you're due in two weeks, you're not big enough!" - so basically I can't win on that front and I'm just doing a lot of smiling and changing the subject.

Obviously still not sleeping incredibly well, or I wouldn't be blogging in the 6 AM hour on a Sunday.  Yeeps.  We went to baby class yesterday (both infant CPR and "all about baby," where they teach you very basic things like how to keep your newborn alive when you bring him home from the hospital) and learned that newborn sleep patterns are apparently established by the 36 week mark of pregnancy.  So when I feel Holden doing baby jazzercise and throwing dance parties, that's what we should expect when he's here for reals...theoretically.  That's scary.

Physically...doing ok, just low on energy.  And low on space for meals - Holden's taking up some room in there.  Although maybe not quite enough room - the doc thinks he might be a little on the small side (which she guesses at just by squeezing around and feeling him - not quite an exact science), so we're doing a sonogram on Wednesday to check on his size and growth and general condition of things in his own little personal biodome.  And my hips are killing me - side sleeping? Body stretching out and doing weird things to prepare for this whole birth business?  Yeeps again.

Milkshakes are delicious.  And so are soapapillas at Chuy's.  I'm kinda liking just going for it here in the last couple weeks...

Oh, and happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there!!  I'm secretly hoping Craig will do something sweet for me today...but am also managing expectations.  He's big into logic and technicalities, and since Holden is still hanging out in utero, in Craig's eyes I probably don't qualify as a real mom yet.  We'll see what happens...but for now I might try to go back to sleep as a present to myself.

Packing for a trip where you come home WITH AN EXTRA PERSON

And not just an extra person, but one whose clothing size you don't know.  Does he need an adorable newborn onesie to come home in, or should I throw the three month version in there in case he's a whopper?  WHO ARE YOU, TINY PERSON?!?  This is fascinating, terrifying, and exciting all rolled into one.

In case you couldn't tell, I packed a hospital bag...or as much as I could pack with a big note stuck on top reminding me to grab all the things I'm still using that can't really hang out in a bag for an undetermined amount of time.  Just one more thing in a string of "ok, this makes is very REAL" moments that seem to keep occurring...every day.  Yeeps!  But Holden has a place to sleep and diapers and clothes and food (well, theoretically my body's working on that - science and nature at work, y'all, it's for real! - but we have some backup formula on hand just in case), so really we're ready to go.  Or at least we appear to be ready to go.  There's this whole mental/emotional component that is NOT covered by giant boxes of diapers and wipes.

Just look how super pregnant I am!!  Ahhhhh!

We've made really good progress on the nursery and the organizing of all the things - I'll give you a real post on that, but for now let me share an army of tiny clothes...

Washing all of the clothes and organizing his closet made me really, really happy.  Sometimes strange things (excessive organization!) make me happy.

In other baby-related news...my belly button hasn't really popped out (yet), which gives me great joy.  There's just something about that belly button POP happening to my own body that was weirding me out.  Although it is kinda weirding me out that my belly button is just stretching...crazy town.

Also, a note for my husband - when I share my stretch marks with you, "ewwww" is not the appropriate response, even if quickly followed by "I'm kidding!" - come on, husband, you're dealing with an emotionally wrought and extremely pregnant wife.

Early on in the pregnancy I was T-I-R-E-D, and I'm sad to report that I'm pretty much back to a very tired state.  Tiny things are exhausting, so how am I supposed to summon the energy to push a human out of my body??  Adrenaline and drugs kick in for that part, right?  Still waking up in the night (training for the parenting job to come!), although last night I'm not sure if it was kicks from Holden or my extremely vivid "being chased by dinosaurs" dream that woke me up.  Yes, dinosaurs.  Who knows where that came from...

Tomorrow is May.  I'm supposed to have a baby in May.  Eeeeekkk!!

Bumpdate...entering the home stretch

Notice the glasses, clingy cat, and nighttime lighting effects - home stretch to 4/15 on this one, gang.

My God, it looks like Erin actually took a picture in the daylight!!  She must have survived the 4/15 deadline at work!  Way to hang in there through some long days, little buddy.

I actually look terrified (and fuzzy - sorry, wobbly phone pic) here, and it must be because this thing is getting very, very real.

Here's what's going on in baby world, y'all:

• I had a dr's appointment last Wednesday (freebie day off from work after surviving the craziness of spring busy season, yay!), where everything just went swimmingly well other than the epic soreness in my left arm for two days afterwards where I got my Tdap shot. However, I also booked ALL of my remaining dr's appointments up to my due date, which is mildly terrifying.  When you start going EVERY WEEK you know that things are getting extremely real.  Yeeps. 
• Those halcyon days of the second trimester are GONE, folks.  Welcome to the world of swollen ankles and feet and occasional heartburn.  
• Generally uncomfortable when attempting to accomplish simple tasks.  When I drop things I now just sigh and look at it, then decide if I REALLY need to pick it up.
• His movements, while reassuring and kinda freaky cool since YOU CAN SEE HIM JUST MOVING AROUND, are also a little painful.  And just weird.
• I miss being able to lay on my stomach.
• Want to know what I considered a night of sleep about a week ago?  I really took multiple naps instead of getting a full night's sleep.  9:45 (that's right, I was EXHAUSTED) to about 11, then from 11:30 to 4:00, awake from 4:00 to 6:00ish, then slept again until about 8 something when Zach went thunder-dogging through the house, then just refusal to get out of bed and minor moments of sleep until 9:30.  Not cool.  Although I really guess it's just training for the days to come.

Everything really has gone pretty smoothly with the pregnancy, so here's hoping it stays that way for the next month.  Ummm...he's going to be here before I know it.  Omg.

Oh, so THIS is what having a baby looks like?

Post-baby shower explosion of assorted baby awesomeness in the dining room as I attempt to organize...that's a lot of STUFF, y'all.

The Great Sorting of the Tiny Clothes!!  Why must alllllll of the tiny things be SO ADORABLE?!?  I think we're set for a while in the clothing department.

The epic "you get one shot to use the 10% registry completion coupon so let's go get all of the things" Buy Buy Baby shopping trip.  Phew.  That's also a lot of stuff, y'all.

Basically what I'm saying is that our home has exploded into a pile of baby stuff, and now that I actually have things like weekends and time to breathe I'm trying to organize it all and actually feel ready for the arrival of our tiny human child.  Going to Costco and buying 1,120 wipes will really make you feel like a mom.

Here we grow!

Given my affinity for the camera, you'd think I'd be that person documenting every single day of this pregnancy posed in a similar shot so I could compile an epic "watch me grow a human!" photo montage.  Well...not happening.  But maybe I can at least capture one poorly lit shot a week with my phone from here on out.  It's something!

In case you were wondering location...elevator at work, headed home after a looooong day. I think this lighting is even worse than the bathroom shots...

He's really growing in there!  And dancing or kickboxing (or, just, you know, stretching around) on a rather frequent basis.  Here's the latest and greatest in baby land:

• Starting to get a liiiiittle uncomfortable hauling this little guy around.  He's just taking up more space these days...ummm, and he's only going to take up more.  What, still eight-ish weeks to go?
• Still waking up randomly in the early morning hours - but at least I can go back to sleep and get a fake full night's sleep.  Last week I think I actually slept through the night twice!
• I miss...turkey sandwiches.  Cold ones.  Darn you, listerosis.  And I miss wine, too.  But I'm really, really enjoying my almost-every-night bowl of cereal.  Reminds me of my college days...
• I was almost ready to say I'd been doing pretty good on not randomly crying lately...but Craig picked up the new comfy chair for the nursery and got it all set up and I promptly sat in the chair and rocked and cried.  Hello, hormones.
• I've decided pretty much anything goes with my work wardrobe for the next couple months - comfort is the name of the game here.  Don't be surprised if flop flops show up for the month of May.
• Worrying a little bit less about pregnancy things since modern medicine and the time he's been cooking in there mean he'd probably be ok if he showed up early...but then worrying more about the actual giving birth to a human part AND the whole "raise a kid" thing that follows that.  Minor details.

Yeeps, a little less than two months to go!!  Give or take, since it's bothering the accountant in me that I don't know when he'll actually be here, which I assume is God's polite way of preparing me to let go of my need to plan all things.

Oh HELLO third trimester, where did you come from?!?

Hello at 28 weeks, baby!  Which was about two weeks ago...details, schmetails...

The beginning of this baby adventure was all anticipation and wondering and waiting...and now the days and weeks are just flying by and I feel like our little guy will be here before I know it.  How does that happen??  At any rate, here's what's up with us these days:

• Physically feeling pretty good, other than the fact that I keep waking up in the middle of the night - I think he likes to throw raging dance parties around 3 AM, which I'm sure is fun and all, but not for mom.
• Baby had the HICCUPS last night, which was both adorable and completely freaky.  It's been so incredible to feel his movements go from the tiniest little flutters to full on "yeah, I'm in here!" motions all the time.  And have you ever seen your midsection just MOVE because something INSIDE YOUR BODY IS MOVING?  O. M. G.
• I'm not exactly craving ice cream, but Craig keeps buying it for me, so I keep eating it.  I'm not too sad about the way this is working out.  Thanks, honey!
• Actual cravings?  I went through a clementine phase, which was great since I was feeding myself and baby healthy things, but now I've moved on to carbs carbs comforting carbs.  I'm not going too crazy with the food, though, and weight gain is right on track. Phew.
• Doctor appointments have gone from being every month to every two weeks...which just drives home the point that we're in the home stretch, making this both incredibly exciting and mildly terrifying.
• Right after we found out "it" is a "he," I may have gone on a bit of a clothes-buying bender. Which means Craig has banned me from buying any more baby clothes.* Yes, I know people love to buy tiny cute things for the baby, so I really don't need to...but I love buying tiny cute things, too!
• Did you know I'm a worrier?  Who, me??  Yeah, so basically I'm worried about everything ever.  Although I took my glucose screening test a week and a half ago and haven't heard anything back on the "no news is good news" kind of test results, so I'm actually NOT worried about potentially having gestational diabetes.  Woot woot!
• At this point I've worked my way through an entire little tub of Burt's Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter, mostly because I had this month or so in trimester #2 where my skin (we're talking arms, legs, WHOLE BODY) was crazy itchy.  I think that one was a combo of winter skin in general + pregnancy heightening sensitivity to basically all things that could cause problems.
• I've switched to flats for the remainder of this "carry a growing baby around" business - a little bit of pain/swelling going on in the leg/ankle area.  Highly recommend these Gap maternity pants for work - I actually bought two and hemmed one for heels and one for flats. I haven't worn pants that actually buttoned since early January...this could be hard to go back to...
• I'M HAVING A BABY, AND CRAIG AND I ARE GOING TO BE ACTUAL PARENTS OF A HUMAN BEING.  That's all.

*Theoretically. What he doesn't know won't hurt him on the baby clothes front...how do you resist this??

So, I'm still a person...

Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I ONLY want to talk about the baby.  I'm still me, people. I'm aware this is an epic, life-changing event that will completely rock my world and probably change the way I feel about a lot of things and how we live our lives...but I'm actually still me at the moment.  Which means that even though I LOVE talking about the baby and what's going on with my pregnancy and getting advice on how to handle this whole parenting gig, it's not the ONLY thing I want to talk about.

Let me caveat by saying this is really not an issue with 97.3% of the people in my life.  I'm generally surrounded by wonderful, supportive friends, family, and co-workers who ask me about my life in general and talk about things other than the tiny child I'm currently carrying around with me at all times. But sometimes the 2.7% really get to me.

Work has been the most challenging battleground on this front.  My admin at work is well-meaning but a little overreaching in her concern and sympathy - I'm greeted every morning with a belly stare and a "how are you feeling?" when previously just a simple "good morning!" would suffice.  And I know she's desperate for her own daughters to give her grandchildren, so I think I'm filling this strange surrogate role in her life that's freaking me out a little bit. Another admin, whom I'm spoken to for approximately 10 minutes in the last 15 months, now carries on epic conversations in the hallway with me about everything from belly bands to breast pumps.  It's a touch awkward.  And since these relationships don't exactly go past the acquaintance phase, I can't just say "please stop doing this" without it coming across the wrong way.

And this week I got the "you're finally looking pregnant!" exclamations on multiple counts. Well, thank you - it's not like I was trying to NOT look pregnant before, so I'm glad the baby's popped out enough to satisfy your desire to see a pregnant-looking pregnant lady walking around.  This is wonderful for you, but marginally uncomfortable for me - huzzah!

I'm aware this is an epic, life-changing event...but...

I'm so fortunate to even be able to have this experience and bring a new life into the world, and I don't want to seem disinterested or anything less than thrilled or grateful for the little guy hanging out with me...but every once in a while I just want to talk about what book I'm reading or weekend plans or even the ridiculous stock market.  For the 97.3% of you who do this, THANK YOU.  It's nice to not worry about kiddo or parenting or daycare for a minute.  You guys are awesome.

For the other 2.7%, QUIT STARING AT MY BELLY.  And maybe also stop offering me parenting advice from your lifestyle in 1976 that doesn't resemble our lifestyle in 2014 in pretty much any way at all.

All that being said, we're going to go devote seven hours of our lives today to a one day condensed Weekend Childbirth Seminar at the hospital, so really it probably all IS about the baby.

And now that I've devoted this space to pretty much talking about the baby while essentially asking you to talk to me about things other than the baby every once in a while...thanks for letting me rant and ramble.  It's probably just the crazy pregnant lady talking.

Sit and read for a bit

My book count for 2013 was down to 21, not quite on par with what I've been reading the past few years...but I'll have tons of time to read this year, right?  Does a newborn hanging around put a damper on that kind of thing?  I do most of my reading at night in that lovely quiet time between "ahhh, my face is clean and teeth are brushed and the animals are all snuggled up and quiet" and "I can no longer read the words without smacking myself in the face with my tablet because my eyes are so tired MUST go to sleep," and I'm guessing that "MUST go to sleep" part might hit me a little earlier than it has in the past.  Adventures to come!

At any rate, I'm already three books into 2014, none of which have been total crappers, so off to a good start.  But not time to chat about those yet, just some brief thoughts on 2013 books.  To start, epicness carryover from last year's Game of Thrones extravaganza in the form of A Feast for Crows and A Dance with Dragons - enter this world at your own risk, it's a ginormous commitment in terms of the sheer number of pages you need to make it through.  Moving on to others...

Loved, read immediately:

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

If you're into that whole "these books are actually intended for 'young adults' and skew fantasy world" kind of thing:

Divergent series by Veronica Roth (although the first book was my favorite and then I thought they got progressively more meh...so you really don't have to go down this path, but they're pretty quick reads)
I also reread the last two books of the Hunger Games trilogy again.  I had to.  The movie.

A little heavy/sad, but worth your time:

The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman - this one got to the pregnant lady in me, and I think I cried
Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum - also good if you share my fascination with World War II era stories

Really interesting and confusing and also has some of that "history is cool!" thing going for it:

Life After Life by Kate Atkinson

There were also some girly fluffy books in there, per usual, but nothing that you can't live without. And that's it!  Some not especially memorable books sprinkled in this year, or perhaps I'm already forgetting everything.  I can blame pregnancy brain, right?

I'm also considering all of these baby books "books in progress at all times," so I feel like you should know about them because it makes me feel like I'm reading all the time.  Maybe that's where my reading has gone - instead of books for me, I'm on babycenter learning what vernix is (GROSS, but extremely functional) and what I should and shouldn't be worrying about.*

What to Expect When You're Expecting - the standard, right? I like the weekly updates as baby keeps growing.
The Baby Name Wizard - Craig said he needed a book to figure out baby names, and we both really like the way this one is organized.  Narrowing it down...
YOU: Having a Baby: The Owner's Manual to a Happy and Healthy Pregnancy - it has cool pictures and explains all the craziness going on in my body and with baby.  And reminds me to eat my veggies.
The Happiest Baby on the Block - just started this one, but my co-worker who just came back from maternity leave pressed this into my hands and, with a hint of desperation and exhaustion, insisted that I read this BEFORE the baby comes.  I'm taking it seriously.

* Who am I kidding...I worry about everything.

In my next life...

...I think I'd like to come back as a cat.  Or possibly a dog.  I mean, these two are both pretty much living the dream.  Lazy bums.  I can't handle this.

Well, it's that time of year again...

Last year I managed to kinda avoid this by leaving one job at the end of July, which happened in a bit of a whirl of life events, and starting at the beginning of this "busy season" business, so it was really a lot of transition time and not crazy time, which was really great.  But now I find myself back in a cycle where my life disappears into a cubicle/office where this guy watches over me...

yup, watching over me at both Pdub and TWM - he's everywhere, rallying the dark forces

...and I eat three meals a day here...

...and I wonder why it is that I do this stuff.  Sigh.

So June kinda disappeared...

...in a whirlwind of vacationy things, which is never really a bad way for time to fly by.  We had an epic Mexico adventure with some dear friends, which I'll tell you all about, and then I also escaped to the wilderness (without a bat this time, thank goodness - these smart people actually had screens on their windows, God bless them) with the girls for a few days.

And then before I knew it, July was kinda disappearing, too.  But at least I told you about nerd school.  We'll see if I can get anything else out there.

How did I never tell you about Spain?

I never told you about Spain.  And it's not that I just didn't tell you about Spain, it's that I didn't write down and capture all my wonderful Spain memories so I could go back and read them a thousand times over, because I'm pretty certain that I read this blog far more often than anyone else.  Public diary/journal/notebook of sorts, you know?

So I might throw in some bits and pieces of Spain here and there as I flip through pictures and remember the moments.  Which is why I took 3,067 pictures (yup, that's me) over the course of twelve days or so - because I've found that sometimes it's helpful to click and snap away to capture little moments to trigger bigger memories.  Even if I'm now going to throw those written-down memories into the 2013 section of the blog when it happened in 2010 (holy...whaaaaat now?!? that's why I'm so much skinnier in these pictures...I like to call the additions my love pounds).  But it's also reminded me to pick up that camera more and just capture the days.

Excited to try and fall asleep faces...

...to really excited to be walking the streets of Barcelona faces.  Kinda awesome what a plane ride can do.