A very valued customer

I'm a big believer in online shopping.  Perhaps a little obsessive about online shopping, considering one Mr. Vaughn points out that there's an Amazon box on our doorstep more often than not.  Which is not exactly true, but I did come home to three boxes today.  Look, I can't help it if Amazon sometimes ships one order in two different boxes...so those two boxes definitely really only count as one.  And obviously it makes perfect sense to buy Toms online because that's where the biggest selection is, so you can overanalyze the purchase by comparing styles AND colors WHILE reading all of the reviews.  It's really just the intelligent way to shop.  I think these are the winners, by the way.  So that was the other box.

The Amazon order consisted of three books, a page-a-day calendar for 2014 (I'm ahead of the game on that one), and a new set of flexible cutting boards for the kitchen because we destroy them on a pretty regular basis.  I was less than excited about one of the books, and while normally I'm not overly anxious about getting a $15 refund, I figured I would go ahead and send this one back so that the $15 could be better spent on other amazing Amazon products like anything you could ever want EVER because they have it all.  So I went and selected the book for return and gave the reason "no longer needed/wanted," which is just the nice to say that I totally changed my mind and just don't want this at all.  Click.

"Since you are a valued customer, there is no need to return this item in order for us to issue you a refund.  Please feel free to keep the item, and we will issue the $14.62 refund to your method of payment in 3-5 business days."

Well, thank you!!  I mean, who does that?  We'll give you your money back, but just go ahead and keep the thing you don't really want anymore and maybe it'll grow on you.  That's cool, you spend a gazillion dollars with us and we'll just spot you the $14.62.

While this is completely awesome, it also makes me wonder just exactly how much I've spent on Amazon in the last...omg, ELEVEN YEARS.  My first Amazon order was in March 2002.  For a VHS copy (let me repeat that...V. H. S.  Woah...) of the entertaining and mushy One Fine Day, which I think I sent Mom & Dad for their anniversary.  Yeeps.  I might put my analytical skills to use later today and add up the grand Amazon total...maybe.  It might be too scary.